Gracious or Odious
| Gracious | Odious |
|---|---|
| Proverbs 11:16 | Proverbs 30:21-23 |
| Sweet | Sour |
| Charming | Irritating |
| Patient | Impatient |
| Merciful | Critical |
| Pleasant | Strained |
| Comfortable | Stressful |
| Agreeable | Opinionated |
| Obliging | Assuming |
| Enjoyable | Endurable |
| Cheerful | Dour |
| Kind | Perfunctory |
| Smiles | Sober |
| Courteous | Insensitive |
| Compassionate | Businesslike |
| Gentle | Harsh |
| Relaxed | Uptight |
| Soft | Hard |
| Warm | Cool |
| Flexible | Stubborn |
| Thoughtful | Efficient |
| Great Listener | Great Talker |
| Very Thankful | Barely Thankful |
| Considerate | Inconsiderate |
| Grateful for correction | Defensive against correction |
| Listens with eyes, ears, mind, and body | Thinking of what to say when she gets to talk |
| Calm and collected | Jesting, babbling, and talking to fill gaps |
| Remembers good details past and present about others | Preoccupied with self and her present and future |
| Willing to do anything cheerfully | Grudgingly participates or rejects activity |
| Modest and self-debasing | Confident and proud of self |
| Forgives instantly and fully | Unforgiving or grudgingly so |
| Genuinely interested in another | Preoccupied with self |
| Thoughtfully kind to never offend | Tends to be abrupt and inconsiderate |
| Accommodating | Demanding, asking, expecting |
| Meek and reticent about praise | Expects and absorbs praise |
| “You look very nice this morning.” | “Are you ill? You look somewhat sickly.” |
| “That is a beautiful dress.” | “There is a spot on your collar.” |
| “Those candies were the nicest gift.” | “My favorite kind has peanuts.” |
| “My husband is a wonderful man.” | “He never notices or does anything nice for me.” |
| “You did an excellent job with the children tonight.” | “I wish you wouldn’t take so long with devotions.” |
| “What can I do to help with your hunting trip tomorrow?” | “Why do you have to go hunting every Saturday?” |
| “May I go to the gun show with you today?” | “You just went to a gun show two months ago.” |
| “We had a wonderful trip. Thank you for asking.” | “I threw up on the plane, and the hotel was dirty.” |
| “The sermon was very good and convicting today.” | “Aren’t we ever going to get out of Luke?” |
| Immediate and profuse thankfulness | Disconnected and minimal thankfulness |
| Often sends a Thank you card later | Seldom thinks of a card for smaller things |
| Believes she is not gracious | Believes she is gracious |
| Never presumes or asks for favors | Easily presumes and asks and expects |
| Never gets angry or ruffled or stiff or offended | Easily gets angry, ruffled, stiff, and offended |
| Never speaks sarcastically or cutting | Easily gets sarcastic or cutting |
| Willingly participates in group events | Shows dislike of choice or withdraws from group |
| Very attentive and giving to inferiors | Condescending, formal and haughty to inferiors |
| Her delightfully charming presence shines | Her harsh, edgy, hard, critical presence darkens |
| Easily overlooks and ignores others’ faults | Verbally criticizes or bodily condemns for faults |
| Wouldn’t cause a scene for any amount of money | Easily makes a scene for “principle” and no money |
| Smiles, laughs, comforts a waitress who spills her wine | Frowns, criticizes, complains, and ruins evening |
| Cheerfully greets husband two hours late from work | Does not greet him, complains, and punishes him |
| Never demands or expects an apology for faults or failures | Expects, requests, demands an apology or punishes |
| Willing to eat French fries when she ordered rice pilaf | Demands her rice and slams waitress for evening |
| Cheerfully changes when husband dislikes her favorite outfit | Makes excuses, complains, and wears it anyway |
| Enjoys taking the extra 10 minutes to talk to the elderly | Cuts conversation short and complains anyway |
| Forgives in an instant and says apology was not necessary | Punishes, forgives slowly, criticizes, and reminds |
| Never interrupts conversations to correct or add facts | Interrupts husband or others for trivial corrections |
| Never says or repeats things about others who are absent | Easily whispers and slights others not present |
| Always has time for anyone and everyone | Too busy and pressed to be attentive or helpful |
| Others say, “She is such a beautiful and wonderful woman.” | Others say, “That’s Brenda. Try to overlook it.” |
| Others say, “It is so pleasant and fun going out with her.” | Others say, “I’d rather not go, if she’s coming.” |
| Men say, “Women like her are one in a million.” | Men say, “Can you imagine living with that?” |
| Always turns conversations to talk about the other person | Turns or allows conversations to center on herself |
| I forgive you; forget about it; I’ve already forgotten about it. | Do you know how much you hurt me? |
Examine Yourself – Are You Gracious or Odious?
DIRECTIONS: Put a G for graciousness or an O for odiousness beside each statement.
| ____ 1. Tends to talk long and loud. |
| ____ 2. Cheerfully changes, if her husband dislikes her outfit or meal plans. |
| ____ 3. Has few friends that really crave her presence. |
| ____ 4. Thinks they are gracious. |
| ____ 5. Says, “I am sorry,” quickly and easily. |
| ____ 6. Father is sure the kids can handle his calling them names. |
| ____ 7. Verbally thankful with sincere repetitions. |
| ____ 8. Others say, “That’s Brenda. Try to overlook it.” |
| ____ 9. Interrupts husband or others for trivial corrections. |
| ____ 10. Willing to eat French-fries when she ordered rice pilaf. |
| ____ 11. When offered candy, she says, “My favorite kind has caramel.” |
| ____ 12. Never gets angry, ruffled, stiff, or offended. |
| ____ 13. Thinks that wife and children accept his harshness. |
| ____ 14. Asks nosy questions with the intent of “helping.” |
| ____ 15. Sends thank you cards and notes like breathing. |
| ____ 16. Has a suggestion or three when visiting married children. |
| ____ 17. Takes a quiz like this and does not change a thing. |
| ____ 18. Chooses a restaurant but tells the kitchen how to cook. |
| ____ 19. Easily overlooks and ignores others’ faults. |
| ____ 20. Has an opinion when it was not asked for. |
| ____ 21. Speaks roughly to his children to show control. |
| ____ 22. She thinks she is her husband’s second conscience or mother. |
| ____ 23. Apologetic and thankful when corrected |
| ____ 24. Rules moods or pain so that no one ever sees either. |
| ____ 25. Critical and complains. |
| ____ 26. Defensive about correction. |
| ____ 27. Never asks embarrassing or forward questions. |
| ____ 28. Never says or repeats things about others who are absent. |
| ____ 29. Intense and cannot relax and chill out without doing something. |
| ____ 30. Stares instead of helping carry conversation. |
| ____ 31. Patient listener that agrees and smiles. |
| ____ 32. Opinionated. |
| ____ 33. Forgives others instantly and fully. |
| ____ 34. When meeting a person, “There’s a spot on your collar.” |
| ____ 35. Efficient, business-like, and formal about everything. |
| ____ 36. Shows dislike of group decision or activity. |
| ____ 37. Always wants to “help” by sticking nose in. |
| ____ 38. Smiles, laughs, and comforts waitress who spills her drink. |
| ____ 39. Never demands or expects an apology. |
| ____ 40. Wife says, “You just went to a gun show two months ago.” |
| ____ 41. Thorough with frequent compliments and praise. |
| ____ 42. Has no problem interrupting conversations for “emergencies.” |
| ____ 43. Very attentive, affectionate, and giving to inferiors. |
| ____ 44. Believes that “principle” should be taught at restaurants. |
| ____ ** I think I am … |
| ____ ** Most others, not counting my mother or family, think I am … |
| ____ ** In light of the above two questions, I am … |