Proverbs 19:19

Some people cannot stay out of conflict or trouble. Every time you turn around, they are in a squabble or fight with someone else. If you help them get out of one mess, they quickly get into another. They have hot tempers and unruled spirits, so there is no hope for them. They will have a life of trouble, ruin their relationships, and then die lonely.

The lessons are simple. First, if you do not rule your anger, God and men will punish you for your temper. A wise man will confess his angry spirit, beg God to help him, and obey the proverbs about anger. Second, if you help a person with a bad temper, you will be helping him again next month, for he cannot learn to get along with others. His selfish spirit and hot temper will explode again against some little offence, real or perceived.

Neither anger nor a temper is noble. It is not a sign of manliness or authority. It is not the evidence of a strong man – it is the proof of a weak fool (Eccl 7:9). A great man rules his spirit and controls his anger; fools are ruled by their spirits and controlled by their anger. Wrath is blinding and binding, so that helping a quick-tempered man out of trouble caused by his anger will not protect him for long; he will sin again by anger very soon.

Wrath is violent anger. It is the emotional volcano that erupts in a fool’s heart when he is offended or does not get his way. It is a terrible evil. It leads to many sins of thought, speech, and action. Jesus knew it was at the root of murder, so He condemned unjustified anger as murder in God’s sight (Matt 5:21-22). A man with a temper will be guilty of many sins (Pr 10:12; 12:16; 14:17; 15:18; 17:19; 22:24-25; 26:21; 29:22; 30:33).

If a man has not learned to rule his spirit, you must rescue him over and over again from the trouble his anger causes (Pr 27:3). He is a burden to deal with, because you must be constantly covering or correcting his foolish passions. Delivering him today from a mess his anger caused will not help you tomorrow – he will do it again. A wise man avoids angry men, because they are mostly trouble as friends (Pr 13:20; 21:24; 22:24-25; 29:22).

Learn to hate anger, for it is unmanageable (Pr 27:3-4). It is a work of your sinful flesh and old man, not the new man of a child of God (Eph 4:31; Col 3:8). Slow your passions down, especially anger (Pr 16:32). Glorious men postpone anger (Pr 19:11). Only fools let it fly (Ec 7:9). Learn to get over anger quickly and end conflicts, for unresolved anger gives place to the devil (Eph 4:26-27). Exalt mercy instead (Pr 3:3; 21:3; Micah 6:8).

Learn to love, which is God’s greatest grace toward you, and the greatest grace you can show others (I Cor 13:4-7,13). It is the greatest evidence of eternal life and God’s presence in your life. Love teaches and empowers you to bear, endure, and suffer for a long time; it teaches you to not be easily provoked. God is love. Do you know God (I John 4:7-8,16)? If you know God, you will show love rather than anger to others in life.