Marriage Essentials





Marriage should emphasize the spiritual companionship of a man and a woman on their pilgrimage to heaven (I Cor 9:5).


  1. Godliness with contentment is great gain and essential for a happy, peaceful life (I Tim 6:6; Heb 13:5).
  2. Two Christians by the nature of their new souls cannot have a good marriage while playing with sin.
  3. Godliness includes esteeming God’s Word highly and hating false ways in your marriage (Ps 119:128).
  4. Godliness leads to a God-blessed and happy life, which is the basis of a good marriage (I Peter 3:10-13).
  5. Selfishness, bitterness, moodiness, anger, defrauding, adultery, and all disruptions of a marriage are sin.
  6. Two spouses living godly lives will have God’s blessings on their union and treat each as He prescribes.
  7. The highest love between two sinners depends on the degree they spiritually approach Christ in their hearts.


  1. The woman was made for the man: she should daily remember her life’s purpose (Gen 2:18; I Cor 11:9).
  2. Her sin in Eden aggravated her situation and put her under rule (Gen 3:16; I Tim 2:11-14; I Cor 14:34-35).
  3. Reverence (Eph 5:33), obedience (Tit 2:5), submission (Eph 5:22), and diligence (Pr 31:10-31) are obvious.
  4. Leadership (I Cor 11:3), protection (II Tim 3:6), knowledge (I Pet 3:7), and fidelity (Pr 5:19) are obvious.


  1. The best definition of love is found in I Corinthians 13:4-7. Two people observing this would be great.
  2. Forget the sound and rhythm of these oft-quoted phrases; get their sense and meaning and do them today!
  3. Love, even ravishing love, is a choice and a commandment, which we choose to do by grace (Prov 5:19).
  4. Rather than vacation spots, a new dress, pizza delivery, sex more frequently, or other superficial changes.
  5. “Soul love” (Deut 13:6; I Sam 18:1-4; 20:17) has its best chance between two believers in love with Christ.


  1. Two people cannot even begin to have a relationship unless they communicate to agreement (Amos 3:3).
  2. Jesus defined friendliness as communication of intentions (Jn 15:15), and Solomon did similarly (Pr 20:5).
  3. Be quick to hear. Don’t be an oaf; listen to your wife; let her teach you to be the world’s greatest lover.


  1. Our Lord’s New Testament commandment is for spouses to give the other due benevolence (I Cor 7:1-5).
  2. Each spouse owes the other all they want, the way they want it, and when they want it with cheerful love.
  3. There is no room for modifying this standard, and there is no difference between men and women’s rights.
  4. Marriage makes all sensible lovemaking honorable, yet all other avenues are condemned (Hebrews 13:4).


  1. Compromise in your marital relationship will hinder your prayers and create a lean, bitter soul (I Pet 3:7).
  2. Women must avoid “affairs” with their children as mothers; men must avoid “affairs” with jobs as workers.
  3. It requires much hard work, so it cannot be waited for from Cupid’s bow or other influence of pagan Fate.


  1. When Paul taught about marriage, he addressed each party as responsible for their actions (Col 3:18-19).
  2. You cannot excuse yourself in your marriage, because your spouse is not all that you think they should be.
  3. If both parties wait for a change from the other, nothing happens. If both make the change, love happens.


  1. If we forgave one another as Christ forgives us, there would be nothing left but tender hearts (Ep 4:31-32).
  2. The odious woman is hated by all (Prov 30:21-23); the gracious woman is esteemed by all (Prov 11:16).


  1. Jesus taught that giving is more blessed than receiving, yet most couples forget this easy lesson (Ac 20:35).
  2. The “golden rule” of our Lord’s gospel was to do unto others as you would have done unto you (Lu 6:31).


  1. Marriages can be restored with three steps taught by Jesus – remember, repent, do first works (Rev 2:5).
  2. Giving up on a marriage is wrong (Phil 4:13). God exhorts us to believe His restorative grace (Joel 2:25).