Froward Spouses

THE WOMAN’S TEXT  (I Peter 3:1-6)

1. Likewise proves obedience and submission to civil rulers and to masters fits a wife well.
   1. Like … submit-subjection (I Pet 2:13,18) … submit-subjection (Col 3:18; I Pet 3:1,5).
   2. Like … every ordinance of rulers (I Pet 2:13) … every thing of husbands (Eph 5:24).
   3. Like … for the Lord’s sake (I Pet 2:13) … as unto the Lord with husbands (Eph 5:22).
   4. Like … so is the will of God (I Pet 2:15) … in sight of God of great price (I Pet 3:4).
   5. Like … obeying is well doing (I Pet 2:15) … obeying husbands ye do well (I Pet 3:6).
   6. Like … honor men and king (I Pet 2:17) … that she reverence her husband (Eph 5:33).
   7. Like … silence ignorant fools (I Pet 2:15) … word of God not blasphemed (Titus 2:5).
   8. Like … submit to masters with fear (I Pet 2:18) … subjection with fear (I Peter 3:1).
   9. Like … also to the froward (I Pet 2:18) … subjection and fear to pagans (I Pet 3:1-2).
   10. Like … desires sacrificed (I Pet 2:19,23) … desires lost to the husband (Genesis 3:16).
2. First, let us take the woman’s text in its basic, simple intent for its marital foundation.
   1. Wives are to submit to their own husbands, not any other husband or idea of husband.
   2. These Christian wives were to submit to their pagan, unbelieving, worldly husbands.
   3. These Christian wives were to be faithful and loyal and fear their husbands properly.
   4. Like Sarah and other O.T. women, they were to submit and reverently obey them.
   5. Conduct of the husbands is as irrelevant as civil rulers or pagan, worldly employers.
   6. Wives must fear, honor, reverence without answering again (Tit 2:9; Pr 21:19; etc.).
   7. All treatment is tolerated and all wishes obeyed cheerfully until wife is asked to sin.
   8. His faults, failures, or sins do not alter the marriage duties of the wife in the slightest.
   9. Women say men can quit jobs under froward bosses. Is it that easy? What of rulers?
   10. Jesus is a perfect example; they must follow Him; use His example (I Pet 2:21-23).
3. Here are a few laws of scripture, of nature, and of experience where some wives fail.
   1. No spouse is perfect, or actually even close, so any desire or expectation is ludicrous.
   2. God nor we care what your spouse does to you; He and we care what you do instead.
   3. Until a man orders/expects his wife herself to sin, his sins are between him and God.
   4. It is folly after courting, dating, covenant to criticize the spouse you yourself chose.
   5. Perspective can help any woman by thinking of husbands worse than hers, not better.
   6. When examining your marriage, all that matters is how you measure up to the Bible.
   7. Emotion can be a fault – discouragement, overreaction, despair, childishness, etc.
   8. Perspective helps by thinking of all imperfect authority in your life, including you.
   9. So what if your husband calls you a name. God will deal with your man. Grow up.
   10. Fighting or resisting does no good but further stir up anger (Pr 15:1; 25:15; 16:14).
   11. Instead of bitterness, fighting, or revenge, why not overcome his evil by more love?
   12. A meek and quiet spirit is of great price to God, not a questioning, resisting spirit.
   13. Perspective helps by knowing only submission to a froward man counts with God.
   14. Love of an enemy, and sometimes it can be a spouse, proves you a real child of God.
   15. It is the glory of a person to pass over a transgression? What does it say if you don’t?
   16. Charity, or love, bears all things and endures all things. When will you learn charity?
   17. A marriage does not fall apart, if you are godly and continue to keep your covenant.
   18. Perspective helps by flushing all fantasies of Nicolas Sparks or Harlequin romances.
   19. Marriage is final; even thinking of escape is sin (Pr 24:9). Love the one you’re with!
   20. Unhappy persons in a marriage will be unhappy in another or were already in others.
   21. Even if you married foolishly, God allowed your folly, so grin and bear your choice.
   22. Some wives are queens of glory for cheerfully serving difficult husbands with grace.
   23. Perspective helps by knowing your husband submits day after day to a froward boss.
   24. A virtuous woman will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Prov 31:12).
   25. It is selfish, self-righteous, and immature women that want to change their husbands.

 

THE MAN’S TEXT  (I Peter 3:7)

1. Likewise proves men also have binding duties from God like the submission in context.
   1. Likewise certainly does not mean for the husband to submit to his wife like to rulers.
   2. Likewise certainly does mean God has rules for those in authority like those under.
   3. God’s best creation in Genesis was a woman, but only His rules maximize marriage.
   4. Since God created her for the husband, then His rules are clearly in his best interests.
   5. Since God gave the woman to the man, His rules are also for her protection and rest.
   6. This is so true that God sees every woman’s legitimate tears and ignores his prayers.
   7. The woman is a responder, like a flower; His loving rules are like sunshine and rain.
   8. Any male fool can win some woman; only wise men keep her growing and happier.
   9. Where the gospel has gone, women enjoy the best lives, and they should consider it.
   10. The man’s section is shorter to reflect the Bible and the 80 hours to a men’s meeting.
2. First, let us take the husband’s text in its basic, simple intent for its marital foundation.
   1. Dwelling with a woman here is everything involved in day to day marital activities.
   2. God sees and hears everything – what no one else sees or hears – is recorded above.
   3. Dwelling with her is not a partnership or roommate idea; it is your loving leadership.
   4. Knowledge here governs conduct, it is not by feelings, circumstances, lusts, reaction.
   5. Knowledge has three aspects here in this verse, but the Bible has much, much more.
   6. Honor by the one in authority is respect, esteem, admiration, approval, gentleness.
   7. Honor excludes your silent treatment, moods, yelling, hitting, sarcasm, comparisons.
   8. The greatest marital benefits cannot be forced – they must be won – thus honor here.
   9. Fools think authority means a husband can selfishly do whatever he wants by whims.
   10. She is the weaker vessel (in most cases), so she gets honor, mercy, and protection.
3. Here are a few laws of scripture, of nature, and of experience where some husbands fail.
   1. No spouse is perfect, or actually even close, so any desire or expectation is ludicrous.
   2. God nor we care what your spouse does to you; He and we care what you do instead.
   3. It is folly after courting, dating, covenant to criticize the spouse you yourself chose.
   4. If you have an odious wife, you are the MCR, so lovingly lead her out of her habits.
   5. God has forbidden you to be bitter against your wife, including her faults (Col 3:19).
   6. Why the warning about bitterness? She will likely offend, so grow up and forgive.
   7. Why warning of odious or contentious wives? They often get their man. Embrace it!
   8. You wish your wife was different? Wisely win her to it. Change her by leading love.
   9. If you have a problem in your marriage, the buck stops with you, so fix it for benefits.
   10. If your wife is not what she was like dating, start with a mirror and examine yourself.